Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
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