they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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