i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
