Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I think I am morally bankrupt
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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