Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Can I color on your dick again?
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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