i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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