Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Randomize
