I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
