Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
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dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
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