never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
