he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
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