Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
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