Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Randomize
