I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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