Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
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She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
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Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
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