Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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