i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Just puked most of my soul out..
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
