I can tuck mytits in my pants
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
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