Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
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on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
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Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
How naked do you want me to be?
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