it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
