24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
