Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
