By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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