Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
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