You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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