How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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