i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Randomize
