People in love make me want to vomit
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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