the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
