Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
