I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
This is the high leading the old right now
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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