The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
