I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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