I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
where are my eyebrows?
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