Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
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