If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
