Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
