**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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