I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize