You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
i was born a porn star she said
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
