You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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