I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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