I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
