so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Randomize
