Buhtt sex?
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
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