it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
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