Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
