If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
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