Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
