it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
