she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I'm both gender and math confused
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
