It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Text me some of your sweat
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
