What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
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