So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
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