Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
