The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
MIDGETS
????
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
