if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
My liver is preforming stress tests.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
