look no pants
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
