Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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