marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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