I must be too annoying 4 u.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
