her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
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