I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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