We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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