she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
