And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
