I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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